Some people stay in unhappy relationships for years because they worry about their children. The potential negative effects of divorce on kids of all ages is a well-known issue. Previously well-behaved and successful students may start skipping class, hanging out with troublemakers and otherwise lashing out. Kids may also start arguing with their parents or withdrawing from activities that used to make them happy.
The more intense the divorce becomes and the more pressure the children feel from their parents, the worse their behaviors may become during and after the divorce. Parents don’t have to decide between their own happiness and the mental well-being of their children.
Collaborative divorce can help parents reduce the effects of divorce on their children, which is why it has become increasingly popular among parents.
How is collaborative divorce different?
In traditional, litigated divorces, parents view each other as opponents. They only win if they deprive their ex of something they want. Parents litigating their divorces may fight bitterly over minor issues and allow their emotions to affect how present they are for their children.
Collaborative divorce forces parents to take a completely different approach to the end of their marriage. They must work together rather than fight against one another. This approach reduces the tension between parents and how much conflict the children will witness. It also helps the parents start healing from their failed relationship.
You still have to co-parent for the rest of your life
When your children turn 18, you won’t magically get to avoid interacting with your ex. They will still be there at graduations, weddings and even the birth of your grandchildren. The sooner you start working together after your divorce, the easier it will be for you to rebuild your relationship.
Collaborative divorce helps with that healing process. You can start to see the value in one another as parents rather than as spouses who failed. You can also minimize how much you will disagree by putting communication and conflict resolution rules in place that center what the children need.
Learning all of your options when approaching the end of your marriage will make your upcoming divorce less stressful for the entire family.